CORNHUSKER ‘D’ GIVES UP 76, CONTRACTS ASTHMA
The once-proud University of Nebraska defense gave up 76 points to Kansas this past weekend in a lopsided home loss.Jeff Cez: Big 12 rival fans have already amended the Cornhuskers’ nickname from “Black Shirts” to “Black Skirts.” But after oh, I think a CENTURY of annually pounding most conference rivals 63-zip, don’t expect anyone to take a knee, my Lincoln amigos. Just suck it up, enjoy the cardio workout and wait for interim AD Tom Osborne to behead the coaching staff in the Town Square on Thanksgiving.
ARMSTRONG GOES FROM SHERYL CROW TO TWEETY BIRD
Rumor has it cycling great Lance Armstrong is dating Ashley Olson of the Olson Twins.Jeff Cez: How do you know it’s not Mary Kate? Why can’t she ever get hot cycler action? Why can’t you double-date with Ashley, and Mary Kate and, say, Floyd Landis? Well, to quote, uhh, can’t remember right now, but, “Every day is a winding road.”
CHEERLEADER REGISTERS TWO TACKLES FOR LOSS
High school cheerleader Cali Kaltschmidt, who got trampled by her football team when she tried to fix a seam in the ‘breakthrough’ banner just as the team was breaking through it, achieved some notoriety due to a video of the incident being posted on YouTube.Jeff Cez: Check out the video. 1 – Cali is easy on the eyes, boys. 2 – Cali is wholesome and neat and funny and bright and renews your faith that in this great country of ours that not ALL high school kids are doing meth and throwing ‘Rainbow’ parties and planning satanic attacks on malls.
