YANKS GO DIFFERENT DIRECTION, HIRE LEVEL-HEADED ITALIAN
Joe Girardi was named manager of the New York Yankees this week.Jeff Cez: Boy, there’s a gutsy departure from the Joe Torre years. In an attempt to score their own Italian, the Steinbrenner Kids tried Artie Lange first, but he couldn’t get out of his Howard Stern contract and felt the Yankee pinstripes “made him look chunky.” Paul Giamatti was too busy promoting “Fred Claus” and Richard Greico was a non-factor.
ROMO COWBOYS UP
Quarterback Tony Romo signed a six-year, $67-million dollar contract with the Dallas Cowboys.Jeff Cez: Apparently it’s “Sign Up An Italian” Week. Hell, even I’m in the running to host a special on pasta primavera over at the Food Network. I’m up against Peter DeLuise and Mark Ruffalo, keep your fingers crossed.
HALLOWEEN – THE ‘LOSE WEIGHT’ HOLIDAY
Hundreds of millions of Americans will trick or treat Wednesday to observe the Halloween holiday.Jeff Cez: Carrying your kid while balancing a poorly-built plastic Chinese pumpkin with an uneven load of Baby Ruth Bites and that apple from the old lady is a great workout for the lats and quads. Racing back without a mask on to double-dip at the same house is good interval work, and you can round out your workout with some cardio running from cops after blowing up pumpkins with M-80s. At that point, popping 11 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups is just replacing nutrients.
