QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Livon Hernandez, on pitching in bad weather: “You go and pitch and make people out.”Jeff Cez: And those who don’t make out may arrive at safety of base and be taken home if ball struck. All hail Livon – can YOU describe your job that purely and quickly? No. Neither can I. Livon is the new Confucius. “Live On by Livon.” Why isn’t that CD next to Chris Botti’s at Starbucks? Why aren’t Livon’s quotes on boxes of Celestial Seasonings tea? I want more, dammit.
DOLPHINS, RAMS AVOID VICTORY BLEMISH
Both the Miami Dolphins and St. Louis Rams remained winless in the NFL this weekend.Jeff Cez: I’ll give you some names: Jim Haslett, Cam Cameron, Dom Capers, Rick Venturi, Scott Linehan and Mike Mularkey. Pick out the two head coaches. No Googling! And just remember, the reserve tight end on both these goose-egg squads easily has enough dough for an ’08 Escalade Sport with diamond spinning rims that will pull up next to you at a red light and shake a filling out of your molar with its sub-woofer. Welcome to America.
BONDS EX-MISTRESS IN PLAYBOY
Barry Bonds’ ex-mistress, Kimberly Bell, is baring and telling all she knows in the November issue of Playboy.Jeff Cez: Unless she drops 12 years or has pictures of Barry putting his weenie on a Balco i.v. drip, this may be the first issue of Playboy in which the “Jokes” page gets more hits.
