FRANCONA HAULED OVER BY FASHIONISTAS
Major League Baseball forced a fashion check on Boston manager Terry Francona last week, yanking him into the dugout tunnel in the bottom of the second inning at Yankee Stadium to make sure he had a uniform top under his warmup jacket.Jeff Cez: Yes, now that baseball has that whole steroid mess cleaned up they can get down to the important stuff – shoe tongues dead center, maximum 36-degree bend on the cap brim, no skin gap at the sock line. Wear all the Satanic bling you want and jam a syringe of amniotic baboon fluid into your eyeball when no one's looking, but that belt buckle better line up with the blouse buttons, amigo, or you’re lookin’ at a $50-buck fine!
BRIGGS CRASHES CAR… OR DID HE?!
Chicago Bears standout Lance Briggs apparently crashed his Lamborghini at 3am on a major Chicago highway, denied he did it, then finally told police the truth.Jeff Cez: Wow, he really took responsibility. What a role model to young kids- wait, check that, he’s actually ACTING like a young kid - lie first, then admit it under duress, then beg for mercy. So actually 9-year-olds are HIS role models. I got it now. And what exactly was his first lie to police? "It's hail the size of smashed Lamborghinis, officer!"
MARINOVICH BUSTED AGAIN
Todd Marinovich, the former USC and Oakland Raiders qb whose career ended in fog of pot smoke, got nailed in Orange County this past weekend. The 38-year old was caught skateboarding in a restricted area, and upon searching his guitar case, police discovered meth and paraphernalia.Jeff Cez: Wow, he gets popped more than a hooker in Utah. Yes, it's sad, but - skateboarding with a guitar case? That is NOT easy. The dude clearly still has some athletic chops. Prison may actually be an improvement over both his current living situation and the Raiders’ locker room.
