ROSIE PEREZ GETS 80-GAME SUSPENSION. CHECK THAT, NEIFI PEREZ.
The Detroit Tigers’ Neifi Perez was suspended 80 games when he tested positive a third time for illegal stimulants.Jeff Cez: Baseball suspends one guy in two years and it’s a 175-pound shortstop who’s totalled five homers in the last four – count ‘em – four seasons. Nice. You could fit two and a half Neifis inside one Barry. He is the home-grown pot in baseball’s drug scandal.
A-ROD HITS 5OOTH, SKULL REMARKABLY UNCHANGED
Alex Rodriguez became the youngest player in the history of baseball to reach 500 homers after zinging one just inside the foul pole at Yankee Stadium Saturday.Jeff Cez: What may be more momentous – the New York crowd cheered him. Teammates hugged him. Hm. Has A-Rod vowed secretly to never do idiot things like growl at last-place team’s shortstops or play pattycake with a guy trying to tag him? Nah. The Yanks just got back in the race. New Yorkers love getting back in the race. Put a liiiitle squeeze on them Bosox folks.
SAGA: THE PUNTER AND THE PUNTED
The trial of Northern Colorado second-string punter Mitch Cozad dragged into its second week in Greeley. Cozad is accused of stabbing first-string punter Rafael Mendoza in the thigh in an effort to secure the starting job.Jeff Cez: Due to poor lighting conditions, a hood pulled tight to reveal just eyes, and the general freakout that occurs when someone’s stabbing you, Mendoza could not positively i.d. Cozad as his assailant. Hmm. You there! – Cameron Kaman, third string punter! – where were YOU early Tuesday morning of September 12, 2006?!
BREWERS USE UP ALL THEIR FIGHT IN DUGOUT
Milwaukee manager Ned Yost got into a shouting match with catcher Johnny Estrada in the Brewers dugout last week and the two had to be separated by players and coaches.Jeff Cez: Hey, there’s the fire, guys! C’mon, it worked for Lou Piniella and the Cubs. Well, it sort of worked, the fact the Brewers themselves have played 10 games under .500 the last six weeks opened the door, several windows and a skylight for the Cubbies.
