BREWERS SAVE TIME, COLLAPSE EARLY
The Milwaukee Brewers lost six of their last eight games and have seen an 8 1/2-game NL Central division lead shrink to nothing.Jeff Cez: Time for a little pep talk, Brew Crew: We all know autumn in Wisconsin traditionally means football, but that doesn’t mean you have to clear out THIS fast! You’re limping worse than a Japanese businessman in an Amsterdam brothel. So do whatever it takes – extra BP, dugout tantrums, even a little Balco zinfandel, and get it back on track, because you do NOT want your grandkids to say, “Really, grandpa? You screwed it up and handed it to… the CUBS?!” Think of the kids, for godsake.
UFC STEROID SCANDAL SHOCKS 2, POSSIBLY 3 PEOPLE
Allegations are now surfacing of steroid abuse in the sport of Ultimate Fighting.Jeff Cez: Human cockfighting is the fastest growing sport in America outside of Chick Celebrities Driving Drunk. I won’t pay for it! But I will watch it at Caesar’s Sportsbook. What is the appeal? 1 - the human spirit never tires of hearing the phrase, “Why would anybody DO this?!” 2 – clearly, most of these guys were the bullies in high school, so to see one of ‘em get punched in the face nine times AFTER being knocked out is just not that heinous to us.
KNICKS CENTER JAMMED IN HIS OWN LANE
Several thugs broke into the suburban Chicago home of New York Knicks center Eddy Curry and robbed him and his family at gunpoint.Jeff Cez: It’s not like Curry’s drivin’ around to strip clubs in a goldleaf Maserati and purple fur coat, bitch-slapping waitresses and calling everyone “chump” – he was home with his kids watching “Barnyard” and nibbling Cheez-its. I hope they catch these guys and throw ‘em in prison for a long time, although fortunately, they didn’t ask him for his “Knicks championship ring.” That would’ve gotten nasty.
