GATLIN SUDDENLY REALIZES: NO $ IN TRACK
Olympic 100-meter gold medalist Justin Gatlin has a three-day tryout with the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers.Jeff Cez: They can have him run plays down from the press box and avoid someone tapping their headphone frequency. Sounds like Gatlin finally had that Kenny G revelation: “Hmm, I could do what I’m doing and be kinda big in Europe and own a duplex in Dallas, or I could go mainstream and eventually fly my own seaplane to my own island made entirely of money.” Of course, Gatlin’s decision may have gotten a nudge courtesy of the EIGHT-YEAR track & field suspension he’s staring at. Like him or not, Kenny G never got busted for steroids. Although at least on his ballads, he could use a little Balco on the reed.
YANKS SIGN BOTH ROCKET AND ACTUAL SPACE ROCKET
The New York Yankees signed Roger Clemens to another contract this week.Jeff Cez: Steinbrenner’s the only guy in baseball who hits the panic button no later than Cinco de Mayo. Do NOT get in a game of Jenga with this dude. I hear he’s calling a séance this week to contact and re-sign Thurmon Munson. He’s also looking to give the entire Mets roster Dengue Fever and force Willie Randolph back to a playing contract with the Yanks. This will mark the seventh un-retirement of Clemons’ career, tying him with announcer Keith Jackson.
STUDY: REFS A TEENSY WEENSY BIT RACIST
A recent study revealed there may be racial bias in NBA referee calls.Jeff Cez: Okay, maybe, I mean there’s probably subliminal racism in the seating chart at the Peabody Awards. But even if it’s true, is it helping? Is Paul Mokeski still in the league? Jim Spanarkel? That curly-haired kid from Gonzaga? For once, racial bias is not favoring the American white male. This is a battle between African-Americans and foreign caucasian players, or as some would call it, “Dick Cheney’s third massive coronary.”
