GRAF TAKES AGASSI'S BEST SHOT
Steffi Graf required three stitches Sunday after husband Andre Agassi accidentally hit her face with his tennis racket at a fundraiser match in Houston.Jeff Cez: Classic Agassi - he actually disputed the call with the line judge. Dude, you just handed your wife a trump card that will prevail in any argument til you’re both dust. “Okay Andre, maybe I did back the Escalade over the Sea-Doo, but at least I didn’t HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH IT.” Get used to that going down lumpier than a wheat-free cookie the rest of your life, Andre.
SHOCKER: KENYAN WINS MARATHON
Daniel Cheruiyot defended his Boston Marathon title Monday, battling strong winds and rain and finishing in 2 hours, 14 minutes, 13 seconds.Jeff Cez: You want to know why the Kenyans win virtually every marathon? When someone asked Cheruiyot if he was aware of his time during the race, he said, “When the lion is chasing the antelope, he doesn’t look back, he has to eat.” So much for “The Secret,” Oprah, the Kenyan says you can stick that where the sun don’t shine. Quote Of The Year.
TIP O’ THE CAP: JASON TAYLOR
Miami’s Jason Taylor criticized the media for over-covering the Pacman Jones incident while ignoring many NFLers who live right and contribute to their communities. Jeff Cez: He’s right. The media sucks up a Pacman Jones incident like a free shot of Jager off a stripper’s belly but then ignores feel-good stories, creating the perception that the NFL is the Wu Tang Clan and one Jesus freak coach. But the truth is, Pacman getting into a cage match with Vegas strippers is gonna pump ratings more than Jason Taylor cleaning spilled tanker oil off a snowy egret. Unless… Taylor does it with some Hooters waitresses? Just looking for the photo op that evens the playing field, Jason.
UHH, SORRY JASON TAYLOR, BUT THIS IS FUNNY
Minnesota Vikings cornerback Cedric Griffin is free on bail after he was tossed out of a Minneapolis nightclub for wearing his pants below the waist, then got in a donnybrook with bouncers and police out in the street.Jeff Cez: Dude, pull your pants up. No one needs to see the tip of the Griffin man-fur while they’re tryin’ to pound a plate of spring rolls. And just a little clarification for you, Ced: Marlon Wayans dresses that way because he’s a COMEDIAN. You don’t need the extra room down there, you’re not boostin’ hams from the Honeybaked outlet.
