Hank Aaron said he will not be attending any San Francisco Giants game at which Barry Bonds may tie and break his all-time home run record, but he may not be making a “statement,” as some have speculated - he’s just busy. Here’s a sampling of Aaron’s upcoming calendar:

June 20 – July 8: Cohorama Fish-off, Kenosha, WI.
July 9 & 10: Try to whip up some of Dr. Wiel’s recipes
July 11: Go to taping of “Maltin Minute”
July 12 – 19: middle for Dane Cook at Irvine Improv
July 20: “Leave It To Beaver” marathon on TVLand
July 21 – Aug. 3: Vacation through Badlands and Rapid City
Aug. 4: Dermatologist
Aug. 5 – 7: AMC Pacer Convention, Nogales, AZ
Aaron’s calendar does not ease up until October, when he has five days off between “learning to sketch” and the Utah State Fair.

Don Imus, on one of the greatest guilt rolls since World War II Germany, held a press conference at which he took the blame for keeping Negro League stars out of Major League Baseball and holding Jackie Robinson out of the game until 1947. Imus was 43 years old at the time. He then went on to apologize to African-Americans for stock car racing, Danny Ganz, Goobers, cab drivers, Der Wienershnitzel, The Dukes Of Hazzard, and the whole CIA-ghetto drug conspiracy.