IMUS CAN'T WALK, BOTH FEET IN MOUTH
On his radio show last week, morning host Don Imus called the national runnerup Rutgers women’s basketball team ‘nappy headed ho’s.’ Jeff Cez: Okay, first things first – Don Imus still has a show? Somebody’s still paying this guy to broadcast to eleven people? He’s regularly beaten in the ratings by psycho preachers and Japanese soap operas. Just because he’s an easy booking for the 28-year-old douches who now run public relations for all the congressional offices doesn’t mean he’s any good. And second – on a scale of Dumb Imus Slurs, this ranks only about tenth. So have fun diggin’ through the archives, Mr. Sharpton.
NEW DEFENSE FOR PUNTER STABBER
The trial of Northern Colorado backup punter Mitch Cozad began last week; Cozad is accused of stabbing starting punter Rafael Mendoza in the thigh. Jeff Cez: Cozad now claims he slipped while studying for his “Advanced Whittling” final.
BALL JUMPS OUT OF GLOVE, OVER FENCE
A wind-blown pop-up literally jumped off the glove of Pittsburgh outfielder Xavier Nady and over the wall for a 2-run homer as the Reds beat the Pirates 7-5 last week.Jeff Cez: Okay, maybe, MAYBE – the ball’s a little too lively this year. Anybody check the Balco warehouse for a couple of crates from Haiti? I hear the ball's already in rehab. Then it's gonna be repped by CAA and it's going for a biopic.
GOPHERS KEEP SEXUAL ASSAULT STREAK ALIVE
Three University of Minnesota football players were in police custody after allegations of criminal sexual conduct.Jeff Cez: Thank God, because the month was in serious danger of passing without a sex scandal involving Division I athletes.
