In a move that mildly surprised experts, Associated Press college basketball coach of the year Tony Bennett of Washington State said he was content with his situation in Pullman, Washington, and would not be interested in any of the current coaching vacancies. But shockingly, venerable song stylist Tony Bennett said he would be interested in all of the major coaching openings - Iowa, Arkansas, Michigan or Kentucky. "The road is getting to me, man," said the 107-year-old Bennett, "nine, ten months a year, always on the move, greezy road food, my piano player's got erectile dysfunction, airports and all their new hizzle hazzle, hey! - it's a drag, baby. Wouldn't mind droppin' some tree roots, you dig?" Bennett went on to say, "Hey, kid's love me, I'll get some egghead to handle the x's and o's and I'll just groove with the youngstas. And say hey - I hear there's plenty of cuties in Ann Arbor." Michigan is interested.

West Virginia's t-shirts commemorating their NIT victory this year were misspelled 'West Virgina.' For those of you actually going to school at West Virginia, that means the second 'i' in 'Virginia' was inadvertently left off. Although, wait, maybe that's a presumption, maybe it wasn't inadvertent, maybe the t-shirt manufacturer was being underpaid and treated poorly, or perhaps has a meth problem, or is mired in a messy love triangle with his wife and the hot Central American gal in the silkscreen department at the plant, and gathered his employees together and announced, "Screw them Mountaineers, we're takin' our 'i' back! Lucindia, let's go to the motel. I mean, 'lunch.'" This error is rivaled only by Queens College baseball hats that had the 'n' replaced with an 'r.'