K-STATE "CHICKEN TOSS" DEEP-FRIED BY PETA
Kansas State issued a statement calling for an end to the practice of throwing live chickens on the floor during their game against arch-rival Kansas. Hang on, we are nowhere near the joke part yet. PETA said the chicken, a bright animal, is subjected to bright lights, deafening noise, terror and abuse by handlers. Jeff Cez: If the chicken’s so smart he’d know this was a WAY OUT of the mcnuggets line and off to freedom. Couple of well placed pecks on Bill Self’s cheek and that bird will be deified on the Wildcat campus.
HANSBROUGH DONATES BLOOD
Duke’s Gerald Henderson capped off an 86-72 loss to North Carolina by fouling Tarheel star Tyler Hansbrough so hard he broke his nose.Jeff Cez: Ouch! Henderson made Hansbrough pay for 400 years of slavery by himself. Duke loses more than three games and suddenly they’re goin’ all Cincinnati on your ass. Pretty soon they’ll be calling him “Coach KO.” I can’t wait for the Ultimate Fighting melee after they lose to Belmont in the Dance.
GAMECOCK SETS NEW SEC ARREST RECORD
On March 3rd, South Carolina freshman QB Stephen Garcia was arrested for his second offense in two weeks, this time for keying a visiting professor’s car. On Feb. 17, he had been picked up for drunkenness and underage drinking.Jeff Cez: He’s from Lutz, Florida. Noooo. Really? A troubled gridiron star from Florida? You’re joking, right? There’s a reason that state’s in the shape of a weenie. Boy, this kid must have a cannon for an arm if he’s keying professor’s cars before his first spring practice. Incidentally, is there a Triple Lutz, Florida?
RAVENS CUT LEWIS WITH VERY DULL SCISSORS
The Baltimore Ravens cut former Pro-Bowl back Jamal Lewis but may re-sign him.Jeff Cez: Is the Baltimore front office getting paid by the transaction? Wow, you know your salary structure’s wack when you have to pull this kind of David Blaine Shazam move. Who knows, maybe Marty Schottenheimer’s not really fired.
