WOODS STREAK OVER, PIN FLAGS FLY AT HALF MAST

Tiger Woods’ consecutive win streak came to an end this past weekend when he lost at the Accenture Match Play tourney.

Jeff Cez: Does match play really count? That’s a little like going into the NBA right now and saying, “Okay, third game of the playoffs will be all ‘H-O-R-S-E.’”

And note to Accenture: this girl STILL no idea what you guys do, are, make.

BURLAP SKIMPY LINGERIE

Nardly's Bloody Red Meat Market

HANGOVER OF THE WEEK: BADGERS CAN'T HOLD #1 LONG ENOUGH FOR FANS TO FINISH YELLING PHRASE, “WE'RE NUMBER ONE!”
The Wisconsin Badgers basketball team attained the #1 national ranking in the AP poll for the first time in school history last week, and then promptly held it for less than 43 seconds. The Badgers got ambushed at Michigan State, then dropped a heartbreaker at Ohio State. The Badgers are doing well because apparently they’re the only team in the nation with seniors still on it. This girl admits it’s a little jarring to see Spartan and Buckeye hoops fans swarm a court because they beat… Wisconsin.
COWHER TO JOIN CBS, DESK ALTERED TO FIT JAW

Recently retired Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Bill Cowher will join the CBS “NFL Today” announcing team for this coming season. The team, featuring James Brown, Dan Marino, Shannon Sharpe, Boomer Easiason and Charley Casserly, will not bump any of its current announcers. This girl agrees heartily with the decision.