PRINCE LEADS “LUCY RICARDO” DOO-RAG COMEBACK
Prince performed a near-flawless set at the Super Bowl halftime, most of it in a black head scarf.Jeff Cez: This guy is the most macho hermaphrodite in history. And as we used to say in Wisconsin, “Holey moley, can he play dat der GEETar!” No boobs suddenly appeared, unless you count Shannon Sharpe. Wow, the Cosby Kids would tell Shannon, “Take ‘er down a notch, you’re too ANIMATED.”
MN SUSPENDS H.S. WRESTLING DUE TO HERPES OUTBREAK
Minnesota state officials suspended high school wrestling matches indefinitely due to an outbreak of herpes.Jeff Cez: I’ll be honest, I learned to throw the Half-Nelson WITHOUT any tongue. Okay, actually this strain is spread skin to skin, but I say start wrestling again anyway and just make the ‘escape’ worth 10 points.
CELTIC PRIDE DELAYED SOMEWHERE IN UPS SYSTEM
The Boston Celtics have lost a franchise-record 14 games in row.Jeff Cez: Anybody got the tracking number for this pride package? I’ll bet it got routed through the Atlanta airport and just got eaten up. All due respect, but the Celtic pride ‘shipping box’ had a couple tire tracks on it already – the Celts were 12-20 BEFORE the losing streak started.
NICK SABAN TO RE-TELL INSULT CLASSICS FOR TBS
New Alabama head coach Nick Saban admitted to using the term “coonass,” a racially derogatory term for people of Cajun descent, but said it was only because he was repeating something someone else had told him.Jeff Cez: Sure, my “friends” say bad things all the time, too. Nickie, this is what happens when you don’t stay in one place long enough to get to know your ‘friends’ well. And I’m no linguist, but I’m pretty sure anywhere from five to eight other ethnic groups would get out the Buford Pusser stick if someone tossed a “coonass” their way.
