RESCUERS FIND BRADSHAW ON DARK SIDE OF FOX SPORTS SET
FOX sports jazzed up it’s already-A.D.D.-causing NFL set with even more graphics and lighting tweaks for this past weekend's playoffs.Jeff Cez: It looks like the lounge at a Thai whorehouse. The rats they tested this set on had to have died of rapid-fire panic attacks. Literally, Terry Bradshaw missed the monorail from the back of the set to the front and had to sit out a break. This set might be too gaudy even if Gwen Stefani hosted, let alone missing Gumbel brother Kurt Menefee. At least borrow the dulling spray they use on Terry's "Luxor Spotlight" head and spray down some of the bling-bling on the set!
72-YEAR-OLD BREAKS HIP MAILING IN DAYTONA APPLICATION
Stock car racing veteran James Hylton will attempt to qualify for this year’s Daytona 500 at the age of 72, which would shatter the old “oldest-ever” record by seven years.Jeff Cez: Hylton’s left blinker is already on. He’s requested a ’73 Buick Electra 225 with landau roof and whitewalls and promises to shake his fist and shout “Why you!” at any young ‘un who pass him. His pit crew chief will be Bea Arthur.
VICK'S WATER BOTTLE ENDORSED BY DAVE MATHEWS
Jeff Cez: Michael Vick’s new multi-purpose water bottle/hide-a-stash/fanny pack has received the official endorsement of the Dave Mathews band. Mathews will write a tune extolling the bottle’s virtues, when he gets around to it. The bottle also recently picked up endorsements from Snoop Dogg, Doc Severinson and The Tonight Show band, Half Pipe’s Coffeehouse in Vail, Phish, the Japanime Animators Union, David Spade, the Manhattan Borough Sanitation Workers, Macie Gray and the touring company of
“Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”
