LAMAR HUNT, DEAD AT 74, NAMED NFL COMMISSIONER
The founder of the Kansas City Chiefs and one of the driving forces behind the American Football League, Lamar Hunt, died this past week.Jeff Cez: He’d still be a better commish than what they’ve got. He’s got more passion dead than most of the breathing New York Suits have.
DAISUKE MATSUZAKA TO BECOME DIFFICULT HOUSEHOLD NAME
The Boston Red Sox signed Japanese pither Daisuke Matsuzaka to a 6-year, $52-million dollar contract.Jeff Cez: They’re not booing, they’re saying “Dai-SUUU-ke!”
Boy, they’re throwin’ money around in baseball like a drunk Mormon bachelor party tipping strippers for the first time. Look forward to the first-ever $17-dollar hot dog and do you want fizz in your beer? That’ll be an extra $9 dollars there, Jumbo.
BODE MILLER UNAWARE HE WON SUPER-G
American Bode Miller won a World Cup Super-G race at Val Gardena, Italy, for his second win of the season.Jeff Cez: His new strategy – pretend you DQ on the first gate, then have fun. Bode is the skiin’ Carrot Top – he’s an entertaining dude, but Nike hangin’ an entire ad campaign on him? Why not just hire Courtney Love? She’s from up there in Washington, isn’t she?
DUKE LACROSSE TEAM MIGHT BE GAY?!
The prosecution’s case in the rape trial of three Duke lacrosse players grows weaker by the day and some legal experts claim it may be thrown out or settled out of court soon.Jeff Cez: Wow, who would’ve thought the story of a stripper who kinda sorta hooks on the side might unravel under scrutiny? Apparently no one in the mainstream media. And apparently the latest epidemic in this country is moron prosecutors.
