9TH GENERATION ANDRETTI WINS RACE
Marco Andretti, the great-great-great grandson of Mario Andretti, edged Dario Franchitti to win the Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma by a half-second.Jeff sez: Marco will immediately go to the Andretti stud farm to begin spawning the next 300 years of Indy racing champs.
TIGER CAN'T LOSE FOR WINNING
Tiger Woods beat Stewart Cink on the third playoff hole to win the Bridgestone Invitational and collect his 52nd tour win in only ten years.Jeff Sez: Hit a house. Lost a ball. Dropped a club. Stepped in mud. Won. And now finally, after decades of wondering, I realize why they pay the second-place guy so much money.
SHOCKER: PANTHERS MAY HAVE USED SOME SORT OF DRUGS!
A report states steroid use on the Carolina Panthers reached ‘alarming’ rates during their 2004 Super Bowl run.Jeff Sez: Wow, I’m stunned. A six-minute old expansion team makes it to the big game and something’s amiss?! Stop it, just stop it!! I could’ve sworn they did it… on heart, baby.
JETS MAY GET QB FROM MYSPACE.COM
The New York Jets still haven’t settled on a starting quarterback. Head coach Eric Mangini will choose from Chad Pennington, Patrick Ramsey, Brooks Bollinger and Kellen Clemens for his season opener.Jeff Sez: Let’s see, Pennington has the papyrus rotator cuff, Ramsey’s still suffering from Post-Spurrier Stress Syndrome, Clemens is a rookie and Bollinger is out of that QB factory, Wisconsin. What’s A-Rod doing in the off-season? I’ll bet a fin Bollinger gets a solid look.
