Toronto relief pitcher Ted Lilly stopped Blue Jays’ manager John “Wildhead” Gibbons on a TKO in the third round last week to win the American League middleweight belt. Gibbons, who had just pulled Lilly out of the game, confronted the much younger starting pitcher in the dugout. Lilly and Gibbons got into a clinch and wrestled their way into the dugout tunnel, where Lilly apparently landed several clean blows, bloodying Gibbons. At that point an assistant pitching coach and a waterboy threw in the towel from Gibbons corner and the fight was over. Gibbons had previously bested several of his own players to take the belt last year, but a determined Lilly trained all year in hopes he would lose his concentration early in a game and force an anger-crazed Gibbons to pop a forehead vein and yank him. Lilly will defend his belt against a crazed father-and-son drunk team on his next trip to Kansas City.

The Dallas Cowboys waited nearly seven weeks – longer than any other franchise in history – before fining newly acquired receiver Terrell Owens. Owens missed a team meeting and some rehabilitation session and oh, probably used Splenda instead of sugar at breakfast, does it really matter? The world class receiver has been hobbled by a groin injury or boredom, which has kept him out of those all-important pre-season contests meant to hone playbooks and injure important players. The Cowboys knew that the way to bring a wild appaloosa like Owens in line was to fine him the equivalent of the tip he leaves at a middling steakhouse. Owens came back in stunning fashion from a vicious injury and had one of the best Super Bowls in history for a receiver. He’s not shooting ape testosterone in his eyeball or driving the getaway car for a hiphop robbery. I can wait til September for him, okay, Billie P.?