SHOCKER: AGASSI NOT YET RETIRED
Andre Agassi said this weekend that this year's US Open would be his last tournament.Jeff sez: This may come as a shock to some sports fans who had assumed Andre retired a couple of years ago. Amazing career turnaround - hard to remember that he started as the Anna Kournikova of his time - lots of attention, no wins. He could've coasted as an alt-poster boy but he dug deep, found a helluva groove and played some monster tennis down the stretch, turning himself into a class act on and off the court. The sport is gonna miss him.
WISH WE WOULD'VE THOUGHT OF IT DEPT.: CHESSBOXING
A sport called chessboxing is finding an audience in parts of Europe.Jeff sez: Yes, it sounds like something our very own Chet Waterhouse should be calling, sponsored by our very own Kalaidescope Eyedrops - Don't Just Get The Red Out, Enter A Magical World - but it's not, it's real, and it takes place largely in Cologne, Germany. Athletes alternate four-minute rounds of chess with two-minute rounds of boxing. You can win by knockout or checkmate. Let's get right to the point here - what the f*%$ is wrong with the Germans? They are so far out on the edge they're BORED with sick sex fetishes, which they essentially pioneered, and are onto this stuff. What fictitious Sportalicious event might be next? We're betting on Speedfishing - that daring combination of speedskating and ice fishing!
NCAA MY EXPAND TOURNEY TO 1000 TEAMS
Based on the cinderella run of George Mason in '06, the NCAA is considering expanding its 65-team basketball tournament.Jeff sez: Yeah, the Bowl Championship series is constantly leaking oil and up on the hoist, but let's mess with this unbroken piece of work. The most likely plan would create 3 or 4 more "play-in" games, but there is one plan on the table that would blow out the tourney to 128 teams. Seriously. Why stop there, how about this? We cut the regular season back to 10 games and expand it to 300 teams. We can call it "First Fiscal Quarter Madness." Whether it's the 66th team, the 73rd team or the 129th team, someone will always be pissed.
