GOD NOT VERY THRILLED WITH RELIGIOUS FAN'S TACKLE
Nathan Lehman, a Penn State student who rushed the field with other fans after last year's victory over Ohio State, faces at least 4 1/2 months in prison for tackling, punching and choking a police officer. Lehman, described as a non-drinker and very religious, blamed his behavior on circumstance - he had just broken up with his girlfriend and then spend two sleepless days camped outside the stadium for seats.Jeff sez: What a recipe - heartache, sleeplessness, couple of ice-cold Jager shots, and boom! - "Screw God, that jagoff, I'm chokin' a cop!" He should consider himself lucky - at least fate intervened before he got two years of ROTC marksmanship training under his belt and then decided God came to him in the garage and said it's okay to force his wife to have more kids. That would've been a yellow-police-tape, Governor-has-to-say-somethin', Dominic-Dunne's-on-the-phone bloodbath. Imagine if the Nittany Lions would've lost. Joe Pa may have prevented mayhem.
STACKHOUSE GETS ONE-GAME SUSPENSION FOR KABUKI THEATRE FOUL
Dallas Mavericks guard Jerry Stackhouse received a one-game suspension from the NBA for a hard foul on Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal during the NBA Finals.Jeff sez: Yes, Stack cleared out Shaq like a giant mulch mowers eats thick underbrush on one of those 3am Outdoor Life Network commercials. But let the ref call it on the floor and be done with it! The second the league wants a tape Fedexed to New York the whole thing takes on a life of its own - "Well, we had the tape Fedexed here, if we don't do SOMETHING, we'll look weak!" That's how you wind up with guys who are more concerned about getting to Bergdorf's June men's sale on time actually making ROSTER DECISIONS in an NBA Finals. Embarrassing.
TIGER MISSES CUT, NETWORK EXEC NEEDS RESUSCITATION
Tiger Woods missed the cut at the U.S. Open in Mamaroneck, New York, this past weekend, marking the first time in 40 tries he failed to make the cut at a major. Jeff sez: Poor NBC - they get one major golf tourney all year and Tiger picks it to play his first golf in six weeks. Nothing against Padraig Harrington and the boys, but it's like airing a "Stacked" reunion without Pam Anderson. Don't worry NBC, I'm sure "Treasure Hunters," your rip-off of CBS's "The Amazing Race," will save the day. And if it can't, I'm sure "America's Got Talent!", your rip-off of Fox's "American Idol," will save the day.
