MINOR LEAGUE UMPS ON STRIKE, ANYONE ARGUMENTATIVE FILLING IN
Minor League baseball umps are on strike for better working conditions, higher pay, and better overall treatment.Jeff sez: I'm an old union buzzard. I grew up in an auto town - no, not Detroit - Kenosha, Wisconsin, home of the late great American Motors, builders of the Pacer, that giant freakin' terarrium on wheels - so I'm with these guys. C'mon, what does it cost to move 'em from the Econolodge up to the Shilo Inn? How much more can the Chevy Cobalt cost over the Aveo? Toss 'em a cookie and let that guy who umps 6-man AAU action get back to the Flyin' J cash register.
MOSS DROPS AGENT FACING DRUG CHARGES
Dante DiTrapano, a sports agent representing Randy Moss among others, was arrested in a hotel room with 73 rocks of crack cocaine and 21 grams of powder cocaine.Jeff sez: Man, how messed up do you have to be to have RANDY MOSS look you in the eye and say, "You're too messed up for me." Cheer up, Dante, maybe Whitney Houston's looking for an agent.
MAN SUES ANGELS, DIDN'T GET MOTHER'S DAY TOTE
Michael Cohn, an LA psychologist, sued the Los Angeles Angels for not receiving a free tote bag giveaway for last year's Mother's Day promotion at Edison Field.
Jeff sez: Yeah, this guy's well adjusted, he should definitely be a psychologist. Just a note: if you've got a mom complex, this may not be the right shrink to go to. And do you really want a tote bag that's embroidered, "The Los Angeles Angels of Orange County Inclusive Of the 9th Federal Appellate Court District"?
FLOYD PATTERSON DEAD AT 71
Former two-time heavyweight champ Floyd Patterson passed away last week. He suffered from Alzheimer's and prostate cancer.Jeff sez: Over his last 20 fights or so, Patterson was alternately incredible or shockingly bad in the ring. Outside the ring, he was alternately articulate or confused. Socially, he was amazingly charming or inept. In short - he may have been the most human champ we've ever had, reflecting all of our strengths and weaknesses on the brightest, fiercest stage in the world. Floyd, I hope the new digs are awesome.
'51 USF TEAM WALKED THE WALK
The 1951 University of San Francisco football team that went 9-0 will be honored at this year's commencement for refusing to drop its two African-American players just to try and procure a bowl bid.Jeff sez: While watching the latest police raid on a jock frat house, let's all close our eyes and imagine the spine and the stones it took for the '51 Dons to do this. Congratulations, gentlemen, the recognition is long overdue.
