SOCCER REFS GET A LITTLE SOMETHIN' FOR THEMSELVES
According to the acting secretary-general of the Nigerian Football Association, soccer referees in Nigeria can take bribes from clubs but should "not allow them to influence their decisions on the field."Jeff sez: What's the point of a bribe if it doesn't influence the outcome? Do realize the danger you're putting these refs in? They can take money but show no favoritism - great. Oh, please, just issue them a cyanide tablet they can bite into to mercifully shorten their demise when they're getting the bejeezus kicked out of them after a match. That's like sayin' you'll write the SAT answers on the palm of Connie Florentini's right hand and then like an idiot you let her sit in the very back row and can't get behind her to see. Alright, that might be too much insight as to why I wound up here.
NEW BASS TOTAL-CATCH RECORD?! NO WAY!!!
Preston Clark's total of 115 pounds, 15 ounces set a pro record and won the $100,000 CITGO Bassmaster Elite tourney at the Santee Cooper Reservoir in South Carolina. Jeff sez: It's the next NASCAR, get used to it. They got the jumpsuits, they got the decals, they got the painted boats, they got the pedals that allow your feet to do all the steering so your hands never have to stop fishing. Guys, I love to fish, but come on, it's 115 pounds of BASS, it's a fish that thinks a piece of bacon is a dragonfly - don't be so proud. Now, the Citgo Sharkmaster tourney, that I'd watch.
DUKE MEN'S LACROSSE CANCELS BEEFCAKE CALENDAR
Several members of the Duke University lacrosse team have been accused of sexual assault after a wild party that involved alcohol, drugs, and lewd behavior. No one from the team has yet stepped forward with so much as their version of the proceedings.Jeff sez: Thanks, Duke, for proving that sexual assault and moronic behavior isn't just for scholarship athletes. Hey Coach K, any chance you could wander down the hall and check on the frat boy coaches once in a while?
