Due to some sort of error in the NCAA selection committee room over the weekend, tiny Slippery Berm College of Elk Hell, Montana, has made it into the NCAA basketball tournament field of 64 despite having no athletic program whatsoever. "We'll have to get a team together right quick, I reckon," said Slippery Berm dean E.Z. Feltrop. The school is best known for its Arctic Meteorological Ranger Training Program, which gets students ready for the rigors of solo scientific treks into barren wilderness - so teamwork is not exactly a benchmark of the curriculum. "I mean, we get along," said Sperk Prolman, a 24-year-old Cumulus Clouds major who at 6' 1" is projected to start at center, "but we're sort of taught to be alone. All the time. Always." The NCAA selection committee was at a loss as to how Slippery Berm got anywhere near the brackets, but suspect it may have something to do with their nickname, the "Mocha Lattes." "We made several Starbucks runs and we were really tired and let's just leave it at that, okay Columbo?" said an irate committee member. Visiting professor of Foraging & Hand-Built Shelter, sir Veberly Plank of Scotland, appears the likeliest candidate for the head coaching spot. The Mocha Lattes are actually seeded seventh and slated to face Alabama in the opening round.

Due to the complicated nature of this year's NCAA tournament brackets and what doctors referred to as "a ridiculous amount of Red Bull," the right quadrant of CBS college basketball anchorman Greg Gumbel's skull blew off near the tail end of the network's tourney coverage Sunday. Cark Kellogg had enough items stored in his teleprompter to keep talking while a stage hand duct-taped the piece of skull back into place and tucked the whole mess back under Gumbel's hairpiece. C'mon, that's gotta be a piece. Gumbel will only be able to grunt and point to pictures for several days but the network feels that is still preferable to moving Bill Raftery into the anchor chair. If Gumbel falters, the network has indicated that the cast of "How I Met Your Mother" is willing to step in.