In an effort to get more young heterosexual boys involved in figure skating, the Council On Testosterone is issuing commemorative cutouts of masculine fashion outfits that can be stuck right to the TV screen during the upcoming Winter Olympics. Research has shown that young, gifted boy athletes are actually not put off by the incredibly high level of athletic skill and practice it takes to figure skate but rather by the chiffon, taffeta and sequined spandex worn by male contestants. Here's three of the COT outfits - 1) a hunting vest and hat, 2) mechanic's coveralls and 3) suit and tie. Just print, cut on dotted lines and paste onto the TV over male skaters. COT suggests switching out music as well - Ted Nugent for the first outfit, ZZ Top for the second and Robert Palmer for the third.

This year's Super Bowl halftime headliners, The Rolling Stones, will have to turn in a heckuva performance to match JJ's effort in 2003. Let's see how the Brits stack up against American royalty:

GAMEPLAN:
The Stones: they like to ram it down your throat and have the level of execution to make that happen... usually. If crowd is younger though, they may not have the ability - or at their age, agility - to switch gears.

Janet Jackson: Takes what you give her - just when you've schemed for her to be a good-girl crooner she slaps on a dominatrix bustier and catches you flat-footed. More stamina than all the other Jacksons combined, but still can be worn down.

ADVANTAGE: Jackson.

SCORING ABILITY:
The Stones: Ridiculous roster of hits should win out if they resist urge to throw in crap clunkers from crap new CDs no one gives a crap about.

Janet Jackson: Thinner on hits but wise use of playing time. Never hear her say, "Here's a little something from my acid-jazz experiment..."

ADVANTAGE: Stones.

GADGET PLAYS:
The Stones: It's true you never know what Mick will do, but he may have to stun-gun his own package to top JJ. The one to keep an eye on - Keith Richards. He could wander right off the stage face first and flip off America on the way down. Keep your Tivo on.

Janet Jackson: Sure it destroyed free speech for a decade, but dropping the tarp on a breast is still the best til it's beat. Fascination with her nose job is surprisingly strong backup entertainment.

ADVANTAGE: Even

OVERALL: Tough to tally up before the actual event but we'll give the teeniest advantage to The Stones. Charlie Watts keeps 'em on an even keel and you won't see one of their breasts unless the medics have to defibrillate one of 'em.