MARV LEVY ESCAPES RETIREMENT HOME, SPOTTED AT BILLS' HQ!
Marv Levy, who coached the Buffalo Bills to four Super Bowls, has returned to the the team's front office, though he hasn't completely ruled out a return to the sidelines.I love Marv Levy. He looks like the kind of guy who'd walk up to you in a bar and say, "I'm 80. Go ahead, punch me in the stomach. Go on, pansyass, do it!" I'd love to see him coach again because he would just flat-out kill some kid if he didn't execute. You do realize he played the game back when they could fold their leather helmets and stick 'em in their pockets. He could hire Bud Grant and Joe Paterno as assistants. What a franchise tag line: "170 years of coaching experience - no, really, 170 years."
CBS DECLARES PRE-GAME VICTORY, FOX SEZ NUMBERS RIGGED
Execs at CBS are crowing that their pre-game football show got better numbers recently than the Fox pre-game show, but Fox says that's because CBS lumps in the ratings for the whole game and that their pre-game show still pulls much better raw numbers.Jeff Sez: Eight guys in suits. Holey Moley, is this the best we can do? How come all the beer commercials are aimed at 24-year-olds but all the desk jockeys look 70?! And then the hot chick is... Jillian Barberie?! Don't get me wrong, she's cute in a streaked-hair-that-smells-like-stale-Marlboros way and if I were hammered and leaving a biker bar in Sturgis, North Dakota I wouldn't throw her off my hog, but Sweet Jesus, I'm begging you, give Dane Cook a pre-game show. Let Frank Caliendo and Ike Barinholtz riff for an hour. Have some girls from Maxim magazine make their picks by playing Twister. Let's slip a little E in the punch bowl and loosen this whole thing up! Oh, what's the use. I'm talking to an industry that gave Jenna Elfman another sitcom.
JIMMY JOHNSON VISITS TY PENNINGTON'S BARBER
Speaking of pre-game shows, Jimmy Johnson tried to bring a little youthful flair to the Fox pre-game show by sporting a new, sporty, mini-spiked hairstyle.Jeff Sez: Encore! Bravo! At least someone's not asleep at the wheel, at least there's some whack-job hair stylist at Fox who said, "I know the whole hand-carved burled walnut hairstyle has worked for you since the Paleolithic Era, Jimmy, but why don't you just break and sniff this teeny capsule and let yourself drift off, and then I'll try something from this century?!" He looked GREAT. And I mean that in a manly football way.
