Christian faithful from across the nation, and not just Mexican women either, have flocked to Vince Young's head after an outline of Jesus was spotted in his scalp following the Texas Longhorns' 41-38 victory over USC in the National Championship game Wednesday night. Lines a half-mile long have filed past Young's head every time he stops to eat or dance. Some making the pilgrimage insist they've seen red tears coming from the eye of the short-'fro Jesus, which is just above Young's ear and tilted slightly towards his forehead. It may just be pomade. Pope Benedict has requested that Young not keep his dreadlocks hair appointment next Tuesday and that he stop wearing the one leg top of ladies' pantyhose on his head. In fact, the Pope said he would eliminate 'red tape' in the afterlife if Young doesn't take a shower for at least a week. NBC announced it will start production on a TV Movie about Jesus on Young's head entitled, "Jesus On Young's Head." Notre Dame has filed an Unfair Jesus Siting complaint with the Vatican.

Even psychic John Edwards has not been able to figure out what the New York Jets executives were thinking when they almost instantly overplayed their hand and wound up letting the Kansas City Chiefs get their head coach Herm Edwards for a 10%-off Domino's coupon and a cheese and summer sausage plate from Hillshire Farms. "First of all, that platter is delicious and tough to get," said a Jets spokesman, "and on the other thing, if you order, say, a million dollars worth of pizza, then that 10% coupon will come in mighty handy. My-tee handy, pardner. Plus, we got a couple Chiefs' season tickets thrown in, and we'll be able to scalp those for two or three grand if we remember to stay 125 yards away from any entrance to Arrowhead Stadium." The economically-strapped Jets are now forced to find a new head coach who will actually pay them a million dollars to coach the team. Donald Trump and Elton John appear to be the leading candidates.