WIE MISSES CUT, BLAMES SOCIAL STUDIES POP QUIZ
Sixteen-year-old Michelle Wie missed the cut against the men at the Casio World Open by one stroke. No woman has made a PGA Tour cut since Babe Didrikson Zaharias in 1945.
Jeff Sez: Sixteen. I couldn't even grasp Stratego at 16. I was working at a fast food joint that wasn't even part of a national chain. I played in the marching band. My thighs were twice as wide as my chest. I thought the coolest thing in the world was throwing snowballs down the fry vat vents at restaurants to see if they'd blow up when they hit hot oil. I had twelve bucks. She's eons ahead of the curve. I ain't cryin' over a 1-stroke bump. She'll get there. I still suck at Stratego. PS - Babe Didrikson Zaharias was a monster.
IOWA STATE GETS A+ IN DEJA VU SEMINAR
For the second year in a row, the Iowa State Cyclones missed a chance to play in the Big XII Title game by losing their last game. This time they blew a 7-point lead with three mintues left and lost in overtime at Kansas, 24-21.Jeff Sez: So which mascot wasn't rooting hard enough, Cy or Clone? This is such a punch to the stomach I didn't even have the heart to make it "Hangover Of The Week." And on Thanksgiving weekend, no less, when you're already sick to your stomach from listening to your in-laws prattle on for three hours about their new Pontiac Aztek. Nothing to do but set down the remote and do something at which no one would even consider joining you. "Honey, I'm gonna go clean the gutters." Walk it off, my friend. At least you won't have icicle damage on your downspouts.
IRVIN BUSTED FOR BOTH SPEEDING AND SPEED
Former Dallas Cowboys receiver and current broadcaster Michael Irvin was busted in Plano, Texas on an outstanding speeding warrant, and a search of his car turned up drug paraphernalia.Jeff Sez: Noooo! You're kidding. Michael Irvin? The guy who used to snort blow off a stripper's boobs and get away with offensive interference more often than Tony Soprano? The guy who makes Deion Sanders seem like he's got a normal voice? Caught doing something bad? No. It's gotta be a different Michael Irvin. I hear the Vikings may pick him up as a cruise director.
MARIUCCI TRUCKED OUT OF MOTOR CITY
Steve Mariucci was fired Monday as coach of the Detroit Lions. He was 15-28 in two-plus seasons.Jeff Sez: Yikes, how crappy are things going when you can't measure up to the legacy of Wayne Fontes? How bad is it when the people who build Chevys think you're too mediocre? All because someone else drafted Joey Harrington and Charles Rogers. This lousy a record, and your team didn't even take a whore cruise. And the ultimate insult - it's Matt Millen who gets to fire you! Courtney Love's doing a better job managing than Millen. This city, this great monument to American guts, deserves better in a football front office. Can't they fold the Lions into the Chrysler/Daimler-Benz merger?
