On perhaps the busiest Sunday of this NFL season, Fox admitted that its ambitious slate of games, highlight shows, and recaps may have cost theme guitarist Danny 'Wip' Bumber the use of his right hand. Bumber, formerly of the bands Cancelled, Head and most notably Clairvoyeur, has a seven-figure contract that requires him to play - live - all the 1980s-style guitar riffs in the themes and stings. Fox feels this gives them an edge over the 'canned' sound of ESPN and may be responsible for as much as .2 increase in ratings. Bumber's morning included an extra-long Fox NFL pre-game show with seven additional commercial breaks and a full credit roll, throughout which he had to bend an extended double-high 'G'. Despite discomfort he made it through the early game but started cramping up during the first half of the Broncos-Eagles tilt and laid off his whammy bar, to no avail. By the third quarter Bumber was reduced to simple rhythm guitar licks and a re-hash of an obscure Joe Satriani riff that required mostly his fret hand (Rockcerto in Hey Minor). Then suddenly he fell off his stool, which apparently was not unusual, but when he did not get up demanding more tequila, sound engineers called a rescue squad. Bumber is resting comfortably at the David Faustino Medical Clinic right on the Fox lot. Fox Sports was forced to finish the day using an old TSOP cassette for its music cues.

President Bush's Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers withdrew from consideration for the high court this past week, citing a desire to avoid adding more conflict and scrutiny to a White House that's currently experiencing everything except an anal probe. But Sportalicious! reporters disguised as FEMA administrators report from inside the Bush White House that Miers may have quit because of rumored links to BALCO frontman Victor Conte. Over the past three years Miers has added 20 pounds of bulk, increased her hat size by 3/8ths of an inch and from nowhere won her law firm's annual slam dunk competition. On a recent trip to San Francisco for the American Bar Association's seventh annual "Tort Lawlapalooza," she was spotted at the batting cages with Barry Bonds, though that may have been coincidence, as they arrived in separate Hummers. Anonymous sources say that Miers, always a huge fan of "Masterpiece Theatre," recently stated on her Supreme Court applique that her favorite television show was "American Choppers."