After a season filled with assaults, arrests, dog-fighting rings, murder trials, riots, hip-hop slugfests, credit card ripoffs, auto scams and drug scandals, the NBA has roared into action by instituting a dress code for all teams and players. Dressing in a suit and tie has worked at many maximum security prisons to create a more civilized behavior among inmates, and certainly, the fact that large corporations make their executives dress in suits and ties virtually ensures ethical behavior and an environment of integrity. Many people attribute the scandals during the Clinton Administration to his penchant for open collar shirts and Dockers, which is why the Bush Administration made dressing up mandatory and has since kept its nose almost ridiculously clean. And obviously the attention to high fashion in the Catholic Church has assured an absolutey pristine behavior record century after century. Armani has already contributed two truckloads to the new "Save the NBA" Foundation. Please send ties, cufflinks, tiebars and spats directly to FEMA, which will distribute them with utmost efficiency.