The TUBSTER'S Gambling Tips!
Oct 18, 2005
Get back to even, baby!
tubster
Sooooo close! Aghhhh! If youre like me, you've got next to nothing left in the ol' potato chip bag, thanks to the fellas I like to call the White Sox refs. Ah well, gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, steal a donut and get back in the game. Here's some sure-fire ways to replenish the coffers, my friends...

1. Div. IV women's diving - Caligula Tech over Mulch Institute of the Arts...

2. NCAA cross country championships - University of Kenya-San Antonio...

3. Div. III poker champs - Karl Jungstown State...

4. NAIA bowling - Ohio Asthma Academy over Hoisted Pitard College...

5. Intercontinental Horseshoe champs - Rapid City Ringers over the Pittsburgh Pits...

Good news: Got my car back from the Russians! And I know a guy who can get me replacement glass for the Pontiac Aztek at half-price. So things are turnin' around right here, right now, baby!

Speakin' of baby, the babyback ribs at Redmeat 'N Booze's will set you on fire, a good kinda fire. From there it's just a hop skip and a jump across the parking lot to Looters N' Thugs Casino. Not a bad destination on Halloween, or my name ain't...

THE TUBSTER

If you've ever spent any time in Las Vegas, particularly between the hours of 1am and 8am, The Tubster needs no introduction. The omni-present "Tub" slides effortlessly around Vegas despite his 483 pounds and its accompanying odor. As a denizen of eateries all over town, he's beloved, or as one maitre'd jokingly put it, "barely tolerated, with his fat freakin' mouth." After a successful career in auto-dial telemarketing, The Tubster turned his talents to oddsmaking. His career mark of 50.61% right versus a paltry 49.39% wrong is third all-time among active fat blowhard tipsters.