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Will Chief Illiniwek get steamrolled
by white men for a second time
in history? |
Cheddar Falls, WI - Put the
chains on the back tires, folks and pack the sausage and
cheese! Kickoff is finally set in the first annual Sportalicious!
Naked Chicks In The Press Box Bowl December 23rd at University
of Wisconsin-Oshkosh Titan Stadium! The University
of Illinois (1-10) has its opponent - Army
(0-13)! The Black Knights may come in coach-less but sporting
an edgy attitude because of it, and Illinois will carry
the banner of the Big Ten into battle -
sideways maybe, but proudly nonetheless. Army graciously
accepted the offer after Northern Illinois University
(10-2) turned down the invitation, saying something about
'eternal embarrassment.' Chet Waterhouse
and Scottie Nordquist will man the mics for the radio coverage
on the Sportalicious! Network, which is slated to begin
at 5:30am. That's right, kickoff is 5:45am, if the sun is
bright enough, in order to comply with NCAA
guidelines for non-sanctioned bowls. The good news - the
naked chicks working the press box will just be getting
off their shifts at Wheezers Gentlemen's Club in DePere,
and will be full of energy! Our own Anthem
Singing Breasts will lead the naked cooking of pancakes
and porky links and will spoon-feed it to the first three
thousand men through the turnstyles. Blizzard conditions
are expected.
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