|
|
| |
|
| |
Oops! Six more weeks of Winter for Iraq!
|
Ventilated Hole Estates, Iraq - A Sunni
Muslim man armed only with a pistol and a stubborn streak has won the
prestigious World Hide & Seek Championships! Saddam Hussein,
an unemployed despot from central Iraq, set a new WHSC world record by
hiding for eight months after only the standard "ten-count"
given by his searching competitors last April. "I remember we got
to 'one-thousand-six' and he was outta there," said one of the other
contestants, U.S. Army Brigadier General Tommy Franks.
Hussein went largely undetected the entire time, though he was nearly
discovered accidentally by celebrity challenger Sean Penn
at the non-filtered cigarette counter of a newsstand outside the Mosul
Bowl in October. Penn seemed to 'make' Hussein but was then distracted
by the cover of Details magazine, which was touting a story on Penn's
Oscar chances for "Mystic River." Hussein used the narcissistic
lapse to tuck into the storage bin of a falafel cart and that was the
last glimpse anyone in the competition saw him until this past weekend.
Hussein apparently used a series of extremely small subterranean studio
apartments similar to those found in New York's SoHo district, except
with better ventilation. He may have lasted months longer if not for the
telltale aroma of Cuban cigars emanating from a tiny exhaust pipe at his
Tikrit hideout. "One Cuban is seven months rent around here, so I
knew something was up," said Amir Faisal, a false god bronzer from
Basra who led WHSC officials to the hideout. Hussein could lose the title
if fellow contestant Osama Bin Laden, an event planner from Saudi Arabia,
is found alive.
| |
