Army won this year's Service Academy Spelling Bee.

Audrey Meadows, NY - The Bowl Championship Series admitted Monday that it bowed to unprecedented pressure from the nation's college football coaches (looking to save their asses) and altered its intended slate for January's Sugar Bowl Championship Game, inserting Oklahoma and LSU and pulling out Fordham and Navy. The Rams and the Midshipman, while finishing 47th and 90th in The AP and USA TODAY polls, easily made up that ground in the five computerized rankings, which go beyond the stale yardsticks of winning, losing and playing well and instead utilize crucial factors like SAT scores, brownie recipes and psychic ability. The first computerized ranking service is actually conducted by grad students at MIT and the other four are run by Ted Kaczynski-like psychos locked inside isolated cabins in the Pacific Northwest. Fordham at one point last week was just given the BCS title outright by the committee, but the Fordham proctors then agreed to play in the Sugar Bowl knowing what a huge revenue bonanza a Fordham/Navy matchup would be for the networks. The Navy briefly threatened to park the USS Pilsner off Bristol, Connecticut and shell ESPN headquarters round the clock, but was placated when the committee placed them in an ESPN bowl game with an outcome rigged in their favor. In 1997 the BCS was formed to replace the old, flawed system of qualified people picking winners.