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Cosmo
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Figaro |
Philadelphia, PA - The Philadelphia
Kennel Club Dog Show, one of the nation's premier
events and nationally televised this year on Thanksgiving
Day, was marred by a feline picket line at the dog entrance
to the arena that was "less than purrfect!" Cosmo
and Figaro, spokesmen for Cats, Inc., led a labor protest
outside that featured picket signs, verbal taunts, and physical
abuse. "Who do these dogs think they are?" said
Cosmo. "Big deal, they can walk around an astroturf
carpet and let some rich old broad from Cherry Hill feel
their balls - how does that rate NBC coverage?!"
Figaro said the network exposure is specifically what has
Cats Inc. up in arms. "We can do so many more prime-time
kinda things than dogs," he argued, "let's start
with purring. Humans can't even explain it, it's so amazing!
But a dog finally pisses on a tree after two months of training,
people go nuts." Dogs crossing the picket line were
met with signs that said, "I comb MY OWN hair!"
and "What's In The Bag, Your Poop?" Several dogs
claim they were swiped at by cats illegally hiding in the
alley. The Teamsters supported the cat picket line, and
no deliveries of nibble treats were made, causing dog trainers
to use tuna salad from the concession stand to keep their
charges in line on the show floor. Said Cosmo, "and
you thought their breath smelled bad before!"
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