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vs.
'04 Dolphins
Real Dolphins!
The NFL's Miami Dolphins,
though struggling this year, are still a proud organization
made up mostly of humans -- so how would they fair against
the ocean's brightest creature, the dolphin?
OFFENSE
Miami: sputtering
and stuttering all year and still at least three games
away from getting Ricky Williams back.
Good receiving corps, no one to get it to 'em.
Real dolphins: Team work unbelievable,
especially when a shark or a tourist boat looking for
a show is in the area and the pressure's on. Rarely
beat themselves.
ADVANTAGE:
DEFENSE
Miami: These guys
have refused to fold despite playing gargantuan minutes
in virtually every game. Good speed not evident though;
scheme may be working against them.
Real dolphins: incredible quickness,
and tougher than any seaquarium show would lead you
to believe - those snouts can spank you! But by nature
too trusting, will give up giant chunks of real estate
before they realize they've been had.
ADVANTAGE:
SPECIAL
TEAMS
Miami: Unspectacular.
Flashes of speed on return units, but kicking run-of-the-mill.
Could win a few more games if they broke some of these
plays. Coverage units wearing down because of so much
opposition scoring.
Real dolphins: Have you seen the two-dolphin
teams shove their trainers through the water and up
in the air 30 feet? Ass-kicking! They'll run that til
someone beats it.
ADVANTAGE:
OVERALL
Actual dolphins have too much speed
and experience. But with the trusting nature, if the
point spread gets to 14, take Miami.
