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Cincinnati, OH - On the heels
of beating the previously undefeated Kansas City
Chiefs Sunday, the Cincinnati Bengals
announced Monday that they would immediately suspend operations
and call it a season. "Let's be honest, we're not gonna
do any better than that," said team publicist Ray Feln.
"We can only screw it up from here, so why bother?
I say, leave 'em wanting more!" The 5-5 Bengals will
receive a special trophy from the league proclaiming them
"Week Ten Champs" and a citation of merit for
saving the league and the franchise owners the expense of
playing their final six games. Season ticket holders will
be allowed to show up at the stadium for their final three
home dates, at which a video of the Bengals' victory over
the Chiefs will be played. Concession stands will be closed
however, and fans are encouraged to bring their own booze
and Oxycontin.
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