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After having been abandoned as a two-year-old
in Chequamegon National Forest, Dick Baker grew up with
a passion for the outdoors. Baker hosts "Baker's Dozin'
" on the Camping Network and is Sportalicous! outdoor
correspondent. Email your questions to outdoordick@sportalicious.com.
Dear Outdoor Dick,
I'm going bird hunting in South Dakota next week!
As a novice though, I'm wondering how to quickly tell the
difference between a pheasant and a grouse. Can't wait!
Jerry in Des Flambes, Iowa
Dear Jerry
Des Flambes! Man oh muffin, that brings back the memories.
I won a regional Chipmunk Trap there in '88 but couldn't
go to nationals because of a conflict with the Japanese
Squidslapping Championships. Friendly people though!
On to your question. The easiest markers to help differentiate
pheasant from grouse are the chestplate and overall size.
The grouse is a bit smaller and features a more 'pillowy'
chest-puff than the pheasant. A little safety tip: it's
also easy to confuse either of these birds with the North
American Devil Lark, the largest of larks with a chestplate
similar to the grouse's pillow-puff, but with one distinction:
underneath the Devil Lark's 'pillow' are poison needles
that, when the bird is threatened, fire out in a manner
similar to a porcupine. Tipped with a paralyzing agent,
the needle penetrates human skin up to two inches deep while
feeling no more serious than a skeeter bite, making stage
two even more surprising -- the release of venom from the
needle that drips like water from a small straw into the
bloodstream, leaving the victim delirious and hallucinating.
If not gotten to a hospital within twenty minutes or so,
the victim can vomit and spasm until he literally coughs
up his own Adam's Apple, or in many cases, becomes so delirious
he'll actually shoot himself.
But don't even think a worryin', the Devil Lark's got a
red dot the size of a pencil eraser right under the chin,
you'll get the hang of spottin' it quick! Have fun in South
Dakota, and say 'hi' to Dolores at the Des Flambes Diner!
OUTDOOR DICK
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