|
| HEY! |
| Catch Sportalicious! "friend"
Jeff Cesario on the Howard
Stern Show on Wednesday, Nov. 10 |
|
|
| |
|
| |
"Help! It's dark in here!" |
Washington, DC - Sportalicious! reporters
disguised as network news anchors discovered late Tuesday that the 2004
presidential election was so razor-close federal election officials had
to toss several of the closest states up to their replay official in the
booth for a final decision. That replay official was Glenn "Pops"
Plepnovich, a 77-year old former Big Ten head linesman
who has been manning the video replay booth during several Northwestern
games this season and who also minored in Political Science 58 years ago
at Illinois Tobacco Farmers College in Pekin, Illinois. "He's our
man," said federal election official Kate Plump, who is actually
quite thin and shapely. "At 77, he needs a friendly elbow to wake
him from his snoozy little nap," added Plump, "but when he takes
a hit of that hot chocolate with Jagermeister, he's wide awake."
After cleaning his bifocals and turning on a space heater, Plepnovich
-- who insisted on doing the replay work from his press box cubicle and
the sidelines at NU's Ryan Field -- maintained the initial call of Florida
for Bush but reversed both Wisconsin and Iowa for Kerry, based on video
evidence from several polling places including an abandoned dairy barn
in Prairie du Sac, Wisconsin and the grease bay of a tool and die shop
in Davenport, Iowa. Because of death threats from both parties, Plepnovich
is in hiding in either Cour d'Alene, Idaho, or Juarez, Mexico. In addition,
two Sportalicious! undercover field reporters have been hired as weekend
news anchors by Canadian Satellite News.
| |
