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After having been abandoned as a two-year-old
in Chequamegon National Forest, Dick
Baker grew up with a passion for the outdoors. Baker
hosts "Baker's Dozin' " on the Camping Network
and is the Sportalicous! outdoor correspondent.
Dear Outdoor Dick,
We're celebrating our twentieth anniversary by going to
Vermont to check out the fall foliage this weekend. Thought
we'd get out of the car and hike! Any tips on good trails?
-Alice and Don, Carlisle, PA
Dear Alice and Don
Good ol' C-isle, PA, huh? I won a turtle hunt in Bilge Creek
there in '95! Can't make 'em into soup because of the steel
wool factory, but a great time anyway.
Okay - Vermont, Hiking, changing leaves - If you can get
as far north as Killington, go for it - nice mix of maple,
poplar, aspen, birch and pine. Great paths off of Ski Trail
Drive.
But can I make a teeny suggestion? be sure to pack a knapsack
with snack bars, nuts, water, a compass, a small medical
kit, two lightweight sun-reflecting insulation blankets,
a flare gun and a big ol' extra-sharp all-purpose knife.
The number one problem for amateur hikers is gettin' lost.
Usually hikers are found within eight hours, but then again...sometimes
not. And forget dehydration, your nerves are the biggest
problem! You'll get panicky, maybe not trustin' each other
a whole lot dependin' on the state of your marriage. Without
the knapsack - would you know how to strip addleberries
of the poison seeds and just leave the protein? Could you
make a rainshield from your antique brochures and car keys?
And if Alice is menstruating, her raging nonsense-arguments
will be the least of the hassles, Don, because - can you
fight off a bobcat on a bloodscent with your bare hands?
The answer to all of these questions is NO! And
if you flunk this test, odds are you'll wind up deep in
a cold hell in only four days, at best huddled together
defenseless and praying to your God for someone competent
to save you, and at worst, torn alive limb from limb by
bears, who are more than happy to leave your entrails for
the carrion's last autumn feed.
So bring that li'l knapsack and enjoy Mother Nature's paintbox!
Happy 20th!
-Dick
Email your questions to outdoordick@sportalicious.com.
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