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Martha Stewart says: "Lunch
with the devil can be enjoyable.
Just remember - the pitchfork always goes on the left." |
Marina Del Rey, CA - A visibly
irritated Prince of Hades returned to his
earthly headquarters Monday and told reporters that he had
actually lifted the curse on the Boston Red Sox
early in October, only to watch them lose the American
League Pennant anyway to the New York Yankees
in seven games. "Jesus, what the f#*k do I have to
do, swing the f*$king bat for them?" said the Devil,
adding, "I lost $12 million dollars in Vegas on those
idiots! That wasn't a god#*m curse, that was f*#king Grady
Little goin' to sleep at the g*#dam switch like
a f*#king Amtrak engineer on Thai Stick!" Beelzebub
went on to say, "I had such a nice lunch with Denis
Leary in September, he's f*#king begging me, 'Lift
the curse, one time!' I say, 'Why the f*#k not?' He's very
convincing. And then g*#dam Grady Little nods off like f*#king
Charlie Parker on a 20-minute break at
the Blue Note. Hey, guess what Boston?
F*#k you! Curse is back on!"
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