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LaLanne vows to stay alive
until his tie comes back in style. |
Clogpore, OK - A 420-pound
Clogpore man has filed a suit in appellate court in Oklahoma
City demanding 90-year-old fitness guru Jack LaLanne
shut up already about how to stay in shape. Gliff Pelly,
a 37-year-old kicking tee salesman, said that of late LaLanne
has been "omni-present" on TV and in the media,
constantly prattling on about what great shape he's in and
insulting people who aren't as fit as he is. Said Pelly's
official complaint, "Please, just get him to shut up.
If I had the time to work out two hours a day, I'd probably
be pretty fit into my nineties, but some of us have to WORK
for a living selling g*$dam KICKING tees to idiot football
coaches. I take walks, I eat vegetables, I get laid, so
tell that geezer musclehead to down a quart of Viagra and
pogo-stick his way off the planet." The court will
proceed with the complaint after a slight re-wording of
the phrase "idiot football coaches."
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