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Don't highlight unless you
own the book. |
New York, NY - Sportalicous!
reporters disguised as immigrant cab drivers were able to
steal a memo from NFL commissioner Paul
Tagliabue's sportcoat that says unequivocally the
league goal is for ALL NFL teams to finish 8-8. (Sportalicious!
is also proud to be the first tabloid in print or online
to use the term "unequivocally.") Tagliabue took
off his sportcoat when garlic curry fumes from an air freshener
nearly overpowered him. The memo says total uniformity will
excite fans who root for crappy teams and only mildly disgust
fans who root for good teams. In addition, uniform 8-8 records
will expand the playoffs to include the whole league, which
will add another two weekends of games and increase TV,
ticket, concessions and prostitute revenue in host cities.
The memo quoted a Fox ad rep, Gene Prokop,
as saying, "A lot of our ads are for mediocre products,
so a mediocre football game is the perfect vehicle! Go San
Diego!"
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