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Bullshag, Wales - Rugby fans at Thickneck
Stadium, 67,000 strong, got more than they bargained for Sunday when a
scrum midway through the second half between Gargoyle and Peawicket produced
a healthy baby boy weighing in at just under a half-stone (appx. 11 pounds
USA). Officials took the infant to Stewmutton Medical Center, but not
before Peawicket captain Bairdy Twickham (pictured, with baby) tucked
the tyke in his armpit and raced across the end line for a touch (a 'score'
in USA). No one knows quite how the lad arrived deep inside the bowels
of the scrum, but officials are pursuing a lead that Gargoyle midfielder
Pud Townshend is actually former British Isles women's weightlifting champion
Maddie Kegg. A spokesman from Scotland Yard (FBI in USA, but successful)
said Kegg disappeared from her native Gnarlybees, England, in 1999, shortly
after her check for winning the World's Strongest Woman contest in Gongalongfarap,
Malaysia, bounced. Kegg owes a Land Rover dealership and a plastic surgeon
40,000 pounds each. (not sure, not good at monetary math, let's guess
about $70,000 USA.) The baby boy, dubbed, 'Johnson,' was rosy-cheeked
and breathing fine after a Peawicket halfback bit his umbilical cord clean
off and sucked it into his mouth like a spaghetti noodle. Incidentally,
Peawicket defeated Gargoyle 19-17 to move into fifth place in Wales' Blacklung
League.
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