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Tallahassee, FL - After watching
his team miss 133 field goal attempts in its last six games
against the University of Miami, including
a game loser Friday night, Florida State
head coach Bobby Bowden has tendered a
scholarship to the corpse of former ace Oakland
Raiders placekicker George Blanda.
"Don't get your shorts in a bunch, we'll sign him up
for some pansy-ass film class or somethin'," said Bowden.
"Then we'll try to surgically transplant his dadgum
rottin' leg onto the healthy body of one of my Hispanic
boy placekickers." Blanda's leg has already issued
a statement saying it feels it has two good seasons left
in it and also that it would prefer to major in International
Finance.
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