If you’ve ever spent any time in Las Vegas,
particularly between the hours of 1am and 8am, The Tubster needs
no introduction. The omni-present “Tub” slides effortlessly
around Vegas despite his 483 pounds and its accompanying odor.
As a denizen of eateries all over town, he’s beloved, or
as one maitre’d jokingly put it, “barely tolerated,
with his fat freakin’ mouth.”After a successful career
in auto-dial telemarketing, The Tubster turned his talents to
oddsmaking. His career mark of 50.61% right versus a paltry 49.39%
wrong is third all-time among active fat blowhard tipsters.
College football time! Yessirree baby, time to make back all the
potato chips I lost on the Olympics! Speakin'
of, who woulda thought the Turkish Greco-Roman team wasn't gonna
show up?! Ikes. Down 900 chips. "Gateway to Arabia"
my ass.
Okay, back to some good ol' American gamblin'... with potato chips,
of course. We're still a little murky on the FCC rules regarding
the dissemination of gaming tips on the internet, so we're still
recommending you don't actually bet money using' the old' Tubster's
tips. Just have some fun with the wife and kids around the kitchen
table with a bag of chips...
Speakin' of, Senor Al's Frijita Chips are great for eatin' and
playin'! The desert salt makes 'em stiff! Locally manufactured
only eight miles from Las Vegas in Pugg, Nevada.
Okay, tips! What do I always say? No money in the big schools.
Point spreads rigged by the BCS. Small conference,
baby! Three sure bets --
Take Purity to cover the spread against Holy Ghost in the Fundamentalist
Conference opener...
I like Corrugated State by two TDs over Grist Mill College in
the Dakotas League...
And above all, take Holysmoke over Dinsdale
in the Division IV Ohio Unaccredited Conference opener! These
two teams have never NOT finished a game in 109 years!
Or my name ain't...
The Tubster
We all know unsanctioned gambling
is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it. But if
you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with your
kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's all we're
saying.
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