Okay, hey, now that we got all that gymnastic flimflam
out of the way, and now that Arturio's Balloon-stuffed Pizza delivers
once again to southeast Vegas, and now that I finally got my insurance
settlement when they found my Pontiac Aztek in
a Native American chopshop, we can get it ON!! Let's bet some
potato chips, my friends! Here's Tubster's iron-cast, set in cement
locks:
I like France in the men's marathon; running
away is in their genes or something. Three potato chips...
Hell, let's go with Iraq in soccer. Clearly happy
to be kickin' something that won't blow up. One chipper...
North Korea in the javelin. I hear they're so
short of rockets they've been tryin' to launch their nukes manually,
so these kids got some ARMS, baby! Two chips...
Ireland in the drinking contest. Is that this
year? No wait, that's 2012...
Italy in the hammerthrow. They've been chuckin'
heavier stuff at their wives for years. One chip...
Germany in anything involving a gun. Five chips...
Oops! That's the doorbell, and that means Arturio's! Y'see, they
inject a balloon into the crust when it's only baked about five
minutes, then they inject it with five kinds of cheeses, and the
balloon punctures from the heat like a minute later but here's
the key - the dough doesn't break! It's baked juuuusssst enough
to sustain the implosion. Then the pizza cooker can literally
slide out the balloon, leavin' melted cheese all through the crust.
They do it right in the front window at Arturio's, you gotta see
it, or my name ain't...
The Tubster
We all know unsanctioned gambling
is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it. But if
you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with your
kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's all we're
saying.
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