All over Greece, Greece - This year's Olympic attendance has lagged far behind the Sydney and Atlanta games, causing concern for the already-in-debt Greek government. Minister of Procrastination Constantin "Gus" Constantinopolos issued a statement Monday saying that efforts to boost attendance include altering some of the older events. For instance, high jumpers would land on a trampoline instead of foam and then have to bounce over an even higher high jump bar, an event the Greeks call the Double high jump. A gator pit will replace the foam at the pole vault competition, and in the weightlifting arena, opponents will be able to tickle lifters for three seconds. Other proposed methods for boosting attendance include putting a Greek in every final regardless of if he qualified or not, and catching Osama Bin Laden live somewhere at an Olympic event. Should've practiced, my friend. Should've practiced. The classic rib tickle works best for the lower weight divisions.     Send this page to a friend (all fields required): Your Name   Friend's email Your email     The information entered here will be used to send an email on your behalf and will not be collected or used by Sportalicious! for any marketing purposes.