Now THIS is a homo Bill Parcells.

New York, NY - Despite the insistence of New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey that Bill Parcells was a "homo," the homosexual community in this country has not only denied it, but said they would not accept The Big Tuna even if he indeed was homo. The most powerful homos in the country, the cast of "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy," issued a statement saying they had been in touch overnight with all the other gays and that Parcells was persona-non-grata, citing his lizard eyes, non-empathetic voice and mango-shaped body. Carson Kressley, the really gay blonde fashion guy from the show, said, "if we want a queen coaching the Dallas Cowboys, we'll go with that Mike Sherman guy from Green Bay, with the cute vocal affectation and the sharp sweatshirts. What?! He's not gay? C'mon, Really?!" Kressley then added, "Okay, fine. Bill Cowher then. He's so deep in the closet he's through the drywall." Ted, the "Queer Eye" food expert said, "I don't know what Shockey was thinking, because Parcells just doesn't strike me as gay..." This statement was immediately noted by Kressley as further evidence that Ted The Food Gay Guy himself is actually not gay and is only pretending to be gay to keep his job on a hot show, and pretending pretty badly. Kressley said he would call all the gays back again tonight and they would vote on whether Ted gets to stay on the show or not.