Lance Armstrong to win the Tour
de France?
Pathetic odds. Sucker bet! No potato chips in that, or have I
taught you nothing?
On a low odds winner like Armstrong, who's got the cash flow needed
to make a decent profit? My dough's tied up in blackjack marker's
at Freon's Cold-asino! You've gotta examine the peripheral bets
to really walk away with a bag of potato chips.
Here's where the real money was (all bets from St. Finial's Rectory
and Casino sportsbook):
First pedestrian run up the back - Old man, 5-1, Old woman, 9-1.
Winner: 77-year-old woman slipped in Flufarte on Day Two and had
Peruvian rider Jose Ole split her butt cheeks with his front tire.
18 chips on a 2-chip bet. Ole withdrew due to disgust...
First team to argue their way out of the race: Italy 2-1, Spain
3-1. Winner: Spain. Both teams actually erupted into arguments
simultaneously on Day 3 when rain caused them to pile into each
other at Le Fromage Noir, but the Spanish could not stand the
fact the Italians argued more loudly than they did and quit to
prove a point...
First media person to fall and injure themselves hilariously:
TV cameraman, 4-1, newspaper reporter, 11-1, TV reporter 14-1.
Winner: Peepu Anchale, the noted Fijian TV reporter, bounced out
of the back of a Peugeot sedan and onto his noggin when attempting
to interview Jan Ullrich at 34 miles an hour. Anchale refused
French medical assistance and opted instead for a traditional
pineapple-sea bass poultice helmet. He is survived by his three
wives and 17 children...
Speaking of, the best char-grilled sushi in the world is at PooPoo's
inside L'Attitude French Quarter Casino. That is, if you can figure
out when it's open! Or my name ain't...
The Tubster
We all know unsanctioned gambling
is illegal, and Sportalicious! would never condone it. But if
you're playing at the kitchen table, an innocent game with your
kids using potato chips…knowledge is power, that's all we're
saying.
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