Club soda's not gettin' out this stain.

Athens, Greece - A 7-story-tall actual gyros sandwich, erected in the Olympic village and made of real flour flatbread, lamb meat and all that other unrecognizable stuff, collapsed when a surplus 40 gallons of yogurt&onion dressing was poured on it! No one was killed, but four Greek food workers were taken to CousCous Medical Center and treated for onion inhalation, while a 5th victim had a giant toothpick removed from his calf. The giant gyros is supposed to represent the melding of many cultures into one slightly odd smelling wrap sandwich of life, and had taken over seven months to assemble. The flatbread had been rolled out by asphalt smoothers and allowed to bake two months in the sun, then filled with 700 entire whole lambs that had been slaughtered, along with six tons of the normal gyros "extras" -- onions, tomatoes, and vague brown things you should never, never ask about. Then it was topped off with a cement truck of black pepper and 90 gallons of salted yogurt dressing with 3600 dill bushes "sprinkled" on top. Propped up by a giant steel-beamed plate that read, "The Breath Of The World Will Stink In Unity," the sandwich was supposed to stay warmed by the sun and nibbled by any athlete as they walked by. "We have a backup," said a weary Minister of Procrastination Constantin "Gus" Constantinopolos, "but to eat a giant stuffed grape leaf, you really need silverware."